Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
