is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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