Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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