if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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