chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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