dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
