You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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