The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just found puke in my bra..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
