Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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