I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't put those talents on a resume
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
