Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
