fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
