I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
