Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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