so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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