I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
