I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
