Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize