I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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