She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
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I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night