Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??