I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
