I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
