where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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