I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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