oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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