Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
