I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
