my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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