If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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