ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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