Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
