Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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