i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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