I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
