Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
