He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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