everyone is single if you try hard enough
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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