Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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