I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
