I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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