I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
