Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
