I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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