I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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