I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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