i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
