Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
