He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
