I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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