My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
