Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
