doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
