She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
