He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
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isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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