We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize