so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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