Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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