I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
