hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
