I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
