You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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