absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
