Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
