Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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