operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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