chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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