Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
