i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
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Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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