We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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