But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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