are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
