Cold hands, warm shart.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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