Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
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Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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