chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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