If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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